Abracafuckyou -the Adventure Zone
Oh Harry one symptom of the disease called wisdom is that you begin laughing at the things no one else thinks are funny. Because when you're wise Harry you start getting the jokes. -methods of rationality
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ohhh i DEEPLY regret teaching my cat how to talk
Oh? Would you elaborate?
okay so one night like a week or two ago kurt was meowing at me and one of the meows sounded like he was saying “hewwo” so since then I started saying “hewwo” instead of meowing back at him (like I do with all his cat sounds, naturally) and slowly his meows evolved into something vaguely “hewwo”like with the one or two True and Powerful Hewwo’s a day
but now that you have backstory I was just standing in my kitchen making rice, everythings dead silent, and suddenly this fucking “HEWWO??” echoes through the whole apartment and it almost killed me
I actually got in huge trouble with my fiance’s sister for that. One night, I heard Fish meowing and it kinda sounded like she was saying “hello” so I decided to encourage it. If no one was going to try to get the cat to stop screaming at 3am, I wanted to try to get her to scream words so everyone would be as disturbed about it as I was. For the better part of three years, I used treats to reward her whenever she “spoke” while not letting anyone else know I was trying to teach her stuff.
One day, my fiance’s sister goes to give Fish a treat and the cat whiffs it. Misses the treat completely and it bounces under the fridge, so she’s trying to stick her paw under to get it back.
“Oh no, Fish. You lost your snack!”
“I know I know.”
Instant chaos. It wasn’t even Fish’s best words. If she had only said it once, maybe no would have noticed, but the repetition got attention and everyone just lost it. I made the mistake of praising Fish and suddenly I have the sister turn on me. “Are you why she says ‘oh no’ all the time?” Apparently Fish rarely “meows” properly anymore and will say “Oh no” whenever she’s mildly inconvenienced and wants a human to fix it for her.
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I love when people intentionally typo words to get across the instinctual reaction as something similar to a feeling?
Like “i want to Tuch”
“Tumby”
“Creeture”
“Flufy”
“Packige”
Idk i just. Feel it.
thatse gobling core babey!!
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Post reblogged from atoms born from stars
thinking john mulaney is cute makes me feel like a nuclear housewife having a crush on the weatherman
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god i hate being alive i just wanna die in a national park under mysterious circumstances
ok im done being dramatic i finally started my homework and its not that bad
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Post reblogged from Mr. Wizard Alien
*Hades voice* for the last time, I’m the god of the dead not the god of death it’s different
*points to winged dude* That’s Thanatos, *he’s* the god of death! I just do the paperwork!
Thanatos is the emo boy all y'all think hades is and be thirstin over. hades is just the guy who manages all the souls. he’s the kinda dude who wears banker clothes even on his days off. all he wants to do is keep the system running smoothly, take his three headed dog for walks on his lunch break, and go home to his solar punk wife who will no doubt peg him until he can’t think anymore.
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Post reblogged from pugs are ugly and useless
how I sleep at night knowing my daughter is in a prison of my own design because I turned her into a murderer, my son is abandoned on a notorious garbage realm, and my other son is having an identity crisis because they are from a race I taught them from a young age to hate:
me when i’m in a food coma after eating one 2 many chicken fajitas from chili’s
Anthony Hopkins after eating too many chicken fajitas after Tom brings him to Chili’s
he looks like he was photoshopped into a bowl of boiling soup
Lost in the sauce
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Post reblogged from let's get to bashing butts as well as deez nuts
i think rob zombie’s music holds up so well because its not about anything relatable or applicable to life its just like what if you fucked a frankenstein? and im like i dont know rob, what IF i fucked a frankenstein? you tell me and ill buy the album
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twitch streamers acknowledging what you type in chat is the modern day equivalent of knights giving flowers to young women who have come to watch them joust
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Post reblogged from let's get to bashing butts as well as deez nuts
i need to get into more bands but my music tastes are so specific even i dont know what they are
me trying to feed more heavy metal to my ears: please.this is literally the exact same music that you like. please listen to it
my brain: dude this fucking sucks
